19. 845. cancerian.

so i filmed my sunday vlog nice and early this morning and was 90% done editing it by mid afternoon and then my computer inexplicably shut off and restarted and acted like none of it had ever happened so… 

it’ll be up… eeeeventually today… or tomorrow. either way suggest topics and ask questions!

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people write me off… 

they stand at my edge and snap photos, 

all gawking and squabbling for a place to stake their temporary claim.

they say that i’m such a refreshing change. 

such a calm and beautiful retreat from 

real life”, so dry and grainy and immovable.

they drive and fly for miles to lie next to me. 

to breathe the same air as me. 

they use up all my powers to heal themselves. 

imagine my anger when they pack up and leave me, 

back to the cracks in their feet and 

and the pores of their skin 

gasping, sizzling, and dying. 

acting as if they carry a deep appreciation for me and all my glory 

when all they know is  the mists and light blues layered thinly, 

stretching far. repeatedly up the shore and back.


 

 few people are interested in loving all of me.
they paint the rhythm of my deep blue heartbeat

in blood and gore. they call me dangerous 

and temperamental.  

they say i’m nice to visit, but i’m better off to suffer

my own moodiness and scorn.

they advise each other to leave me alone until the weather is clement.
they mock and they rumor… 

deeming it a fool’s endeavor to wonder what’s beneath my exterior.

they tell horror stories of my absolute gluttonous desire 

to extinguish. to soak. to drown. to swallow. 

i am taken for granted. 

my depth is unlike anything you have ever perceived.

or will ever perceive. 

i have so much more to give.

and they have no idea. 

or do they just not care?!

when they’re looking for vastness and mystery 

why doesn’t my name come to mind?

they build machines and and use fire to propel themselves

years into the sky, documenting the beauty, embracing

in the triumph of the human race amongst the stars. 

what the fuck.

i am made up of the highest mountains and the deepest

valleys. and all of my children live.

they glow. they speak in touch and 

they listen in movement and beautiful colors.

stars are just dead light.

-mr

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how is it even possible that i look so different from when i was in highschool… totally wasnt that long ago..
my favorite prom picture 
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